(Real!) First Names I Am Glad I Am Not Saddled With

(Note: Again, written in the Pearson departure lounge on very little sleep)

Mungo
Dalton
Montmorency (Montgomery would just be tolerable)
Chauncey
Reginald
Zeke
Zane
Jordan
Brendan
Augustus
Ronald
Henry
Donald
Bo (or, even worse, Beau)
D'Brickashaw
Dweezil
Sue (you can bet I'd shoot my dad if I were named Sue)
Major
Bertram
Marmaduke
Alonzo
Cornelius
Walter
Sherwood
Herb
Any fruit, vegetable or plant (Apple, Oak, etc.)
Archibald
Seymour
Horatio
Adolf
That fucked-up 100+ character string of letters and numbers that Danish couple tried to give their baby a couple of years ago.
Gunther
Hamish
Napoleon
Phineas