And now, in more serious news...

Turning our attention away from fictional presidential elections and that notorious pornophiliac Jesus Christ, we note that today, indisputably, is the first day of spring, as life sprouts anew from the hitherto dead earth, hope returns unvanquished to the human breast and young men's fancies, as always, lightly turn to thoughts of love.

After, that is, they get the baseball scores.

That's right, sports fans (a description that at last count was accurate for less than half of Shades of Gray readers), it's Opening Day, the best day the whole year round, with the possible exceptions around here of Christmas Eve and the Ides of March. And this year, both of the Official Baseball Teams of Shades of Gray look like possible title contenders.

First, there's the Moscow Rats, my annual entry in Batter's Box's fantasy league. Having suffered the humiliation of demotion to the "B" League last year, the Rats are coming out of the woodwork hungry for redemption and the B League title. One of the reason's there's so much optimism around the batting cage at the Rats' spring training facility in Sochi is the preseason play of ace Roy "Doc" Halladay, who by fortuitous coincidence also heads up the rotation of the other Official Baseball Team of Shades of Gray, your 2006 Toronto Blue Jays!

Notwithstanding my mild unease regarding some of the offseason moves made by J.P. Ricciardi, I can't remember the last times the Jays were being mentioned as a serious contender, probably because I was in grade six in Moscow. I think they're good enough to catch Boston, but it's tough to imagine the Yanks going down with the ferocious lineup they've got. That said, I think this season marks the beginning of the next stretch of Torontonian contention in the American League.

It all starts tomorrow night at 8, when Halladay goes up against Johan Santana and the Twins.

Play Ball!